holy mother of hunger

The hunger has been really bad over the past two days. I don't know if the phentermine isn't working anymore, or if I'm just restricting so much when I'm use to eating 2000+ calories a day that it's starting to takes its toll.

Despite the hunger, I've stayed under 1000 calories. Yesterday I came in at 648 calories, but didn't work out. Fatigue has become a significant problem too. I feel like at any time during the day, I could lay down and fall fast asleep.

I'm proud of myself for fighting the fatigue and going to the gym after work tonight. I almost kept driving. I felt great on the elliptical and did 30 minutes. I use to be able to do 1hr. I did a little lower body circuit training too. I started to feel very lonely while I was at the gym. I thought how sad it was that here I am in my mid-thirties, alone on a Friday night at the gym. I tried to change my train of thought, but couldn't. I don't understand why I'm alone. I get that I'm fat, but there are a lot of fat girls who are in relationships...just not me.

My calories came in at 787 tonight. I'm too tired to keep writing.

office luncheon spanked

The office luncheon came and went and never even tempted me. I allowed myself 5 almonds and passed up everything else, including the pasta salad that would be easy to "write off" as healthy even though I know I'm cutting out white flour right now.

There was some sort of cheese dish - never made me flinch. I had 1/2 of a grapefruit, 1/2 cucumber, 1 Roma tomato & 1/2 tbsp balsamic vinegar with water. Boom! Dear Office Luncheon...Suck it! Love, Maggie!

Now, tomorrow, meeting A & C at a salad/wrap restaurant. Not sure how I'll handle that. I'm thinking about making my own salad and asking for balsamic vinegar as dressing only...or maybe a fruit plate? Not sure.

The sky was gray and it rained all day. My energy was zapped, particularly when my dog woke me up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason. I pushed through the fatigue and worked out at the gym tonight.

I also saw 183 on the scale this morning AND tonight. 182...I need 182 to show up tomorrow! If I could be at 180 by Monday, I'd be THRILLED. I'm really hungry right now, but I don't care. I love seeing the pounds drop like they did when I was in my early 20's.